Here's the first of my #totalhonestytuesday. This is my current billing statement for Fall 2015. It has never been this before. I have never paid off everything I owe. Ever. I have been putting myself through life the past ten years and college the past few. I have slaved working long hours at jobs I don't like. I have had 3 jobs at a time. I have gotten 0 hours of sleep for several nights straight. I have cried countless tears out of not feeling good enough or strong enough or hard working enough to make it through college and life paying by myself, not having someone to support me or give me money when I'm short. I have applied for every scholarship possible. I have had anxiety attacks thinking I wasn't going to make it. I have felt alone. I worried I couldn't come back to school this year. I've been through heinous and unforgiving bouts of depression. But today, for the first time, I paid off all of my debts myself and the balance is $0. I've never been more happy to see the number 0 in my life. I have taught myself I can do this. I'm doing it.

A photo posted by L E Belle (@literelly) on Aug 4, 2015 at 11:39am PDT

I'm finally joining in on #totalhonestytuesday with something small… I'm wearing almost all black again today, despite my attempts to try to be brave and sport brighter colors. I'm just too ashamed of the body hiding under the dark fabric to dress up in much else. I'm hoping things will change, both mentally and physically, as I take steps in a healthier direction. Thanks for all you do, @faganchelsea.

A photo posted by Jade Budowski (@jadeski) on Aug 4, 2015 at 1:54pm PDT

for my first #totalhonestytuesday, I wrote a blog post about accepting mistakes and growing up. I feel like I'm often my own worst enemy, and I'm working to turn my self-sabotaging ways into self-acceptance. Link is in the bio.

A photo posted by Leslie Rowen (@leslierowen) on Aug 4, 2015 at 1:19pm PDT

#totalhonestytuesday: I'm currently in NC staying with my dad and stepmom. I always figured moving across the country would be easy for me, but it's actually been really challenging to be far from family, which is why it's great to be back here after almost a year.

A photo posted by Maya Kachroo-Levine (@mayakach) on Aug 4, 2015 at 12:40pm PDT

Check me out on ma scaffold! God I'll be pleased when this effin' room is done #totalhonestytuesday

A photo posted by rachael (@madeupoflittlethings) on Aug 4, 2015 at 12:22pm PDT

I do not eat melon. Or food that has touched melon. One rogue piece can thwart my whole fruit salad. #totalhonestytuesday

A photo posted by Adrienne (@adrienne_az) on Aug 4, 2015 at 1:12pm PDT

No filter, no make up. And no matter how long I've been a working professional, I still always have chipped nail polish. #TotalHonestyTuesday #NoFilter #NoMakeUp #FreelanceLife #AmWriting #CaffeineBreak

A photo posted by Christina Garofalo (@c_gar8) on Aug 4, 2015 at 10:57am PDT

#totalhonestytuesday These are 3 different eye shadows I found in my drawers, but they look almost identical. Because I love makeup so much, I find this kind of thing happens a lot: I have similar colors of a ton of eye shadows, blushes, and lipsticks. Yet I still buy more because I have problems. Top to bottom: Colour Pop Super Shock Shadow in Lectra; NYX Hot Singles Shadow in Addiction; and Makeup Geek Foiled Shadow in Showtime. #eyeshadow #makeup #colourpop #nyx #makeupgeek #rust #creatureofhabit #ihaveaproblem

A photo posted by angeline (@rangerine) on Aug 4, 2015 at 10:54am PDT

Paperwork & finance day. There's more to painting than just physically painting, and it's rarely shown. It's tedious and it's not an exciting aspect of art to share on social media. However it's an important component of what I do. And I need to maintain order if I want to keep pursuing this. At least it's nice out 🌾☀️ #totalhonestytuesday

A photo posted by Erica • NY Artist (@erica_artwork) on Aug 4, 2015 at 9:28am PDT

when i was younger i ate what i wanted – cheese, bread, chocolate – and stayed thin. then i found gin, tequila and even more delicious foods and i was no longer thin anymore. after doing yoga for a year (and LO V I N G it) i got brave and joined the gym last week. and, guess what? it's fun! and not AT ALL scary! i actually enjoy moving my body and – God forbid – sweating. i feel guilty i've neglected myself for so long. what's your #totalhonestytuesday this week? #selflove #moveyobodygurl #exercise #gym #motivation (P.S props to mummy O who joined with me! @charlene_obrien 💗)

A photo posted by OLIVIA RED (@thelondonladybird) on Aug 4, 2015 at 9:14am PDT

For my #totalhonestytuesday, I'm sharing this: the stash of salt and pepper packets I shamelessly swipe from the corner deli and hoard at my desk along with dry shampoo and rubbing alcohol. My blood pressure is fine, thanks for asking. @faganchelsea #slapafilteronanything #FortPoint

A photo posted by Laura Alix (@theactuallauraalix) on Aug 4, 2015 at 8:35am PDT

#totalhonestytuesday I'm going to Sheffield in a month for half a year and I still don't have an apartment. #sheffield #unitedkingdom #exhangestudent #student

A photo posted by Lady Teaspoon (@lady_teaspoon) on Aug 4, 2015 at 6:26am PDT

Do what you love and the money will come!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #totalhonestytuesday

A photo posted by Suzanne Lassise (@suzlass) on Aug 3, 2015 at 9:00pm PDT

Here's an early #totalhonestytuesday to give you some no-makeup, glasses, PJs and unbridled mane. #curlygirl #bighairdontcare

A photo posted by Leah Knapp (@leahknapp) on Aug 3, 2015 at 7:43pm PDT

#totalhonestytuesday…. american eagle is my savior and my biggest vice. their constant 50% off clearance sales are beautiful for someone who can't afford their clothes full price, but that means i end up treating myself far too often. fortunately, an extra 20% off + free shipping made these impulse purchases worth it. 😎

A photo posted by Grace Marchione (@gracemarchione) on Aug 4, 2015 at 2:01pm PDT

Paperwork & finance day. There's more to painting than just physically painting, and it's rarely shown. It's tedious and it's not an exciting aspect of art to share on social media. However it's an important component of what I do. And I need to maintain order if I want to keep pursuing this. At least it's nice out 🌾☀️ #totalhonestytuesday

A photo posted by Erica • NY Artist (@erica_artwork) on Aug 4, 2015 at 9:28am PDT

One of my favorite bloggers/instagrammers, @faganchelsea, has started a hashtag that I find both convicting and motivating. It's #totalhonestytuesday – a movement to be real with ourselves and each other about our struggles. My confession for this week is about my complete lack of discipline during the summer. I view job hunting as way more daunting than it actually is, which creates a lot of problems for me when I'm not in school. Anxiety makes me procrastinate and sulk instead of spending my time in productive, meaningful ways. To be candid, this has made the past few summers unfulfilling and generally crappy. So for the next few months, I hope to use every moment as wisely as possible, whether that's by working, updating my blog, making stuff for my etsy shop, or helping my parents with housework. I am sick of being lazy, mentally and physically. It's not an easy thing to change but I know I have the willpower to do it anyway.

A photo posted by Grace Marchione (@gracemarchione) on Jun 9, 2015 at 2:03pm PDT